I will always strive to be a better chainsaw artist. I will push myself to discover new techniques and to carve things that people have never seen before. I will make carvings larger and more impressive than I ever have and carvings smaller and more detailed than anyone would think I could do with a chainsaw. I will market my carvings to as large of an audience as I possibly can and make my business prosper. But, I will never be satisfied.
I will not allow my age or any physical limitations slow me down athletically. I will snowboard down steeper mountains and hit bigger jumps at faster speeds every time I have the opportunity. I will run longer and harder than I ever have. I will lift heavier weights and tone my body to match the image I have in my head. But, I will never be satisfied.
I will seek to know myself and project who I really am to the world around me. I will put aside all fear of rejection or prejudice and live my life on my terms. I will fight for equality and equal treatment. I will not back down to anyone for any reason. But, I will never be satisfied.
Maybe it's a character trait common to artist, I don't know. I do know that when I feel dissatisfied with my art and I begin to hate the type of carvings I am doing, that is when I grow and create something I didn't think I could attempt. It's a painful process, loathing the work you have spent so much of yourself on, but it's not until I hate what I'm doing that I have the courage to try something new.
I live my life on a fine line. I am a person who is always pushing the boundaries and limits, always wanting to do and be more. This mentality has pushed me to achieve success in many areas of my life. I don't allow myself to settle for mediocre and it shows in my art, my recreation and my values. The downside with this dissatisfaction is it causes a restlessness I have always had to deal with. Sometimes I let it guide me and sometimes I have to fight it. It can push me to become better, but it can also push me over the edge, steal my happiness and cause me to become wrapped up the pursuit of perfection.
I don't have a way to finish up this blog entry with a plan for handling this part of my personality. I'm still learning how to master this. I think if I became completely satisfied with my life then I would stop evolving and growing. But, on the flip side I have to be so careful to not get carried away with myself. I have to find that balance.
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Really good entry! There is a balance. It is important to continue to strive to improve yourself (the general "you," not you specifically)and to grow as an artist, but it is important to also be happy with who you are as a person. Self satisfaction does not mean stagnation, but it means you like who you are, what you believe, what you have accomplished and what you stand for. It also means the willingness to improve upon yourself on a regular basis. It can get tricky at times, but I know that you will strive every day and continue to amaze yourself and those around you. :)
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